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Back to Speak English With Vanessa

Social & Small Talk

Speak CONFIDENT English in 20 Minutes

Build confidence joining conversations with practical listening responses, follow-up questions, and phrases for reacting with interest and empathy.

Read the full lesson summary

This lesson focuses on building confidence in conversation and responding in ways that help another person feel heard. Vanessa suggests a gradual path: practise speaking privately, become more comfortable, try conversations with other learners, and then continue meeting people in different settings. This progression is an example, not a requirement to speak with native speakers. Conversation partners can come from many language backgrounds, and a supportive listener matters more than a particular label.

The central skill is active listening. Short positive interjections can show interest and give the other person room to continue. “Oh, really?” or “That’s too funny!” can be natural reactions when they genuinely fit the story. “I’d love to hear more about that” explicitly invites a speaker to add details. These phrases work best when followed by real attention, not as a memorized script repeated after every sentence.

Open questions help extend a conversation. “How did that happen?” asks about the events leading to a result, while “What was that like?” invites someone to describe an experience. The second question is broader and often gives the speaker more choice about what to share. If the topic may be personal, a listener can keep a warm tone and allow the other person to answer briefly or change subjects.

Vanessa also models empathetic responses with “That must be really…” and “That sounds really…”. These frames help acknowledge a likely emotion, such as excitement or nervousness. Because the listener is inferring how someone feels, it can be considerate to check rather than assume: “That sounds stressful—does it feel that way?” This keeps empathy supportive instead of speaking for the other person.

For practice, ask a friend one open question and use a genuine follow-up. Reflect the feeling you hear, but leave room for correction. For example: “What was the interview like? That sounds nerve-wracking—how are you feeling about the result?” The goal is not to use every phrase in every conversation; choose a response that matches the person’s story and keep the exchange natural.

S2.1
Speak English With VanessaAmerican English24:43

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Transcript

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Select an expression for its meaning · 0:00

Building confidence through small steps

Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com. Are you ready to speak confidently in English? Let's talk about it. Let's imagine this scene. You're walking out of your local grocery store and you see me walking up to you and I say to you in English, "Excuse me, do you know where the local cafe is? I'm trying to find it." "Oh my goodness." Do you panic? Do you hesitate, "Uh, uh," or do you confidently say, "Oh, hey Vanessa, I watch your lessons. Yeah, the local cafe's just right

Try it: Listen for a gradual progression from private practice to speaking with other people.

Phrase cheat sheet

All phrases at a glance

Review each expression, hear it, save it, or jump to where it appears in the video.

6 phrases

more and more comfortable

Building confidence through small steps · expression

Feeling increasingly at ease as experience or familiarity grows.

Tone and use: Positive and gradual. Use it to describe growing ease with an activity or situation.

May not fit: It describes a gradual change, not an instant result.

Example“After a few practice calls, I felt more and more comfortable speaking.”

positive interjections

Using positive interjections · expression

Short reactions that show interest or encouragement, such as “Oh, really?”

Tone and use: Supportive and conversational. Use a suitable reaction to show you are listening and invite the speaker to continue.

May not fit: Do not overuse scripted reactions; respond genuinely to what the person says.

Example““I just got a new job.” “Oh, really? What will you be doing?””

hear more about that

Using positive interjections · expression

Invite someone to continue sharing details about a topic.

Tone and use: Warm and interested. Use it to show interest and encourage someone to elaborate.

May not fit: Do not say it automatically if you are not able to listen; it invites more conversation.

Example“That sounds like an interesting project. I’d love to hear more about that.”

how did that happen

Using positive interjections · expression

Ask someone to explain the events that led to a result or situation.

Tone and use: Curious and conversational. Use it as a follow-up when someone tells you something surprising.

May not fit: It can sound challenging if your tone suggests blame; keep it curious.

Example““We ended up moving to Denver.” “How did that happen?””

what was that like

Using positive interjections · expression

Ask someone to describe their experience of an event or activity.

Tone and use: Interested and open-ended. Use it to invite a personal description rather than a yes-or-no answer.

May not fit: It may feel too personal if the experience is sensitive; allow the other person to choose how much to share.

Example“You studied abroad for a year—what was that like?”

that must be really nerve-wracking

Asking follow-up questions · expression

Acknowledge that a situation probably feels very stressful or anxiety-inducing.

Tone and use: Empathetic and conversational. Use it to respond to someone describing a stressful experience.

May not fit: Because it infers a feeling, soften it or check if you are unsure: “That sounds stressful—does it feel that way?”

Example“Giving your first presentation to a large audience must be really nerve-wracking.”

Knowledge check

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What it means · “more and more comfortable”

If you feel more and more comfortable speaking, what is changing?