Vanessa explains how to choose between say and tell, two common reporting verbs that English learners often mix up. Her central contrast is the person’s position: with tell, the listener usually comes directly after the verb (tell me, tell him, tell her); with say, a person is normally introduced with to (say to me), or the words being reported can follow directly. She demonstrates these patterns in the context of asking someone to pick up clothes and of sharing travel recommendations.
The opening gives two incorrect examples that Vanessa says she hears: “My wife tells to me to pick up my clothes” and “My wife says me to pick up my clothes.” She then repairs the contrast. With tell, say “I told my wife…” or “She told me that…” rather than putting to before the person. A separate “to” can still belong to an infinitive, as in “She told me to pick up my clothes.” With say, learners can use “My wife said that she wanted me to pick up my clothes,” report the exact words in a direct quotation (“She said, ‘Pick up your clothes’”), or name the listener with “She said to me…”.
Vanessa builds a longer example around a student who plans to visit the United States. She first uses tell: the student told her she would be visiting, and Vanessa told the student recommendations for places to visit. She then retells the exchange with say: the student said to her that she would be visiting, and Vanessa said that she had recommendations. This comparison helps show why tell commonly takes a person as its object, while say focuses on the words or message and can add a listener with to.
One nuance makes the rule easier to apply: tell does not take to immediately before the listener, but it can be followed by a to-infinitive when reporting an instruction—“I told her to call.” Also, some fixed combinations, including “tell the truth,” do not follow the person-object pattern. The practical check is to ask what follows the verb: if you name the listener, say “tell me” or “say to me”; if you report the message, use “say that…” or “tell me that…”. Learners can practise by retelling the same message both ways, then checking that say and tell are followed by the right structure.