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Learn three courteous ways to ask for help or make requests, with notes on tone, context, and combining phrases.
Vanessa teaches three expressions that can soften requests: “if you don’t mind,” “if it’s not a problem,” and “would you please…?” Her goal is to help learners sound considerate in professional and everyday situations while remaining clear about what they need.
“If you don’t mind…” politely checks whether the other person is willing to help. Vanessa contrasts it with “if you don’t care,” which can sound too casual or blunt when asking a supervisor, stranger, or colleague. The phrase does not guarantee agreement; it leaves room for the other person to decline.
“If it’s not a problem…” presents the request as conditional on it being convenient. It can introduce a question such as “If it’s not a problem, could we reschedule the meeting?” As with the first phrase, it is most appropriate when the request is optional or flexible. If a task is required, it is clearer to state the requirement and deadline directly.
“Would you please…?” is a courteous request pattern: “Would you please take a look at my report?” Vanessa shows how it can be combined with the first two openers for extra politeness. However, stacking several softeners can sound overly elaborate, so learners should usually choose the level of formality and directness that suits the relationship and situation. A concise, warm request is often both polite and understandable.
The video closes with a practice prompt. Writing a sentence and repeating it helps learners remember the expressions; reading other people’s examples can also provide ideas. Learners can apply these patterns to asking for directions, requesting help, or proposing a schedule change. The key is to be respectful without obscuring the task, urgency, or possibility that the other person may not be able to help. In practice, match the expression to your relationship with the listener, the urgency of the task, and whether you can accept an alternative.
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Select an expression for its meaning · 0:14
Vanessa introduces polite requests for learners who want to sound more considerate
Many students want to sound and help the other person feel comfortable. Vanessa introduces three expressions that can make requests more considerate.
Try it: Name one situation where you want to make a request especially politely.
Phrase cheat sheet
Review each expression, hear it, save it, or jump to where it appears in the video.
Showing 15 of 15 phrases
Vanessa introduces polite requests for learners who want to sound more considerate · expression
More courteous or considerate than the basic level of politeness.
Tone and use: Positive and explanatory. Use it when someone wants to soften a request or sound especially courteous.
May not fit: Too much softening can make a request unclear or unnatural.
Example“I want to be extra polite when I write to the professor.”
Vanessa introduces polite requests for learners who want to sound more considerate · expression
Feeling fully at ease in a situation.
Tone and use: Reassuring and considerate. Use it when describing someone’s ease or comfort.
May not fit: Completely is emphatic; use it only when you mean fully.
Example“She wanted the new guests to feel completely comfortable.”
Vanessa introduces polite requests for learners who want to sound more considerate · expression
Make your polite language even more courteous.
Tone and use: Encouraging and informal. Use it to describe an additional improvement in courtesy.
May not fit: This is a figurative, promotional-sounding phrase; be more direct in formal writing.
Example“These phrases can take your customer service to the next level.”
She teaches “if you don’t mind” and explains why it sounds more courteous than “if you don’t care” · expression
A polite way to ask whether someone is willing to do something.
Tone and use: Considerate and common. Use it before a request or question when you want to soften it.
May not fit: It is not a guarantee of permission; the other person may mind or decline.
Example“If you don’t mind, could I open the window?”
She teaches “if you don’t mind” and explains why it sounds more courteous than “if you don’t care” · expression
Care about or object to something in this expression.
Tone and use: Neutral; context gives the meaning. Use mind in “if you don’t mind” to check someone’s willingness or objection.
May not fit: Here it does not refer to remembering or thinking.
Example“Would you mind if I moved this chair?”
She teaches “if you don’t mind” and explains why it sounds more courteous than “if you don’t care” · expression
A literal alternative that can sound more informal or blunt in this context.
Tone and use: Casual; may seem less considerate. Understand it as a contrast to the more courteous “if you don’t mind.”
May not fit: Prefer “if you don’t mind” for a polite request to a stranger or supervisor.
Example“If you don’t care where we sit, this table is free.”
The second softener frames a request as acceptable only if it is convenient · expression
A polite way to ask whether an action would be inconvenient.
Tone and use: Considerate and flexible. Use it at the beginning of a request when you can accept a no or an alternative.
May not fit: If the request is required, state the requirement and deadline clearly.
Example“If it’s not a problem, could we move the call to Thursday?”
The second softener frames a request as acceptable only if it is convenient · expression
Change a meeting to a different time or date.
Tone and use: Neutral workplace language. Use it when arranging a new time for a planned meeting.
May not fit: It means change the schedule, not cancel the meeting completely.
Example“We need to reschedule the meeting for next week.”
The second softener frames a request as acceptable only if it is convenient · expression
At the start or first part of something.
Tone and use: Neutral and common. Use it to specify the opening position of a word, sentence, or event.
May not fit: For time, “at the beginning of the month” refers to its early part.
Example“Put the softening phrase at the beginning of your question.”
She adds “would you please” and combines it with the two polite openers · expression
A courteous way to ask someone to do something.
Tone and use: Polite and somewhat formal. Use would you please + base verb in a request.
May not fit: It can sound formal or demanding depending on tone; a warm voice helps.
Example“Would you please review this page before the meeting?”
She adds “would you please” and combines it with the two polite openers · expression
Give guidance about where to go or how to proceed.
Tone and use: Polite and conversational. Use it to ask for directions, advice, or a useful next step.
May not fit: It can be figurative; clarify if physical directions are needed.
Example“Could you point me in the right direction for the library?”
She adds “would you please” and combines it with the two polite openers · expression
A combined courteous opener and request form that checks willingness before asking for help.
Tone and use: Extra polite; can sound elaborate if used too often. Use it for a considerate request when the listener’s willingness matters.
May not fit: For routine requests, one softener may be enough; keep the request concise.
Example“If you don’t mind, would you please help me find the right shelf?”
She invites learners to practise and explains repetition’s role in remembering · expression
Your opportunity to do something.
Tone and use: Encouraging and conversational. Use it when inviting someone to act or participate.
May not fit: It can imply urgency in some contexts; clarify how long the opportunity lasts if needed.
Example“Now is your chance to ask a question.”
She invites learners to practise and explains repetition’s role in remembering · expression
Repeating something is an important way to learn or remember it.
Tone and use: Encouraging and emphatic. Use it to emphasize practice through repeated exposure or use.
May not fit: It is a slogan-like phrase, not a guarantee that repetition alone is sufficient.
Example“For pronunciation, repetition is the key to building familiarity.”
She invites learners to practise and explains repetition’s role in remembering · expression
You are welcome to do something if you want to.
Tone and use: Friendly invitation. Use feel free to + base verb to offer permission or invite optional action.
May not fit: Do not use it if the action is required.
Example“Feel free to ask if you need another example.”
Knowledge check
Use it in a sentence · “if you don’t mind”